Kari and Thomas

Kari's story is collected especially for the SHHH project. All informants and stories in this project have been anonymised. All names are changed.

I was 16 when I discovered I was pregnant. I informed my boyfriend and made it clear that I was too young and that I had to have an abortion. I thought I would be able to handle it myself. I didn’t ask for help.

I went in and out of hospital several times, because I didn’t stop bleeding. Eventually I asked for a lift there. A few days later I got a curettage. I had no physical complications after that.

I wanted to share my abortion story, but you know, I couldn’t bring myself to it. I sat down several times, but it proved to be a big, deep hole I had put a lid on for all those years. I realized I had never talked about this… with anyone. My first thought was: this is for a great project, maybe I can help someone? But it was simply too painful. I would have wanted to help, but I have to work with myself some more.

Thomas' story is collected especially for the SHHH project. All informants and stories in this project have been anonymised. All names are changed.

My story is mostly about lack of participation. We lived on opposite ends of the country, and we were very young. I found out that she was pregnant, and she said herself she was too young. The decision was made, really, but I wanted to support her regardless. 

After that, I didn’t find out much more. I was far away. It was like “out of sight, out of mind”. I didn’t forget about it, but I didn’t experience it in the same way she did. That was a hard realisation. She felt the pregnancy and the abortion in her body, and I didn’t.

I think about it sometimes… that we could have had a teenager now. But that is far-fetched too, because life wouldn’t have been what it is now. We stayed together, and waited 11 years before we got pregnant again. We were just too young that time.