Silvia

Silvia's story is collected especially for the SHHH project. All informants and stories in this project have been anonymised. All names are changed.

Aborting was an act of love towards myself, even though I was in extreme pain. My body was totally out of place. After a time when everything in it had been working for this thing growing inside, it was like removing an arm and feeling that you still have it, but it is gone.

The moment I knew I was pregnant, I understood that I had to have an abortion. I was not going to have a child with a violent man. He was not going to abuse me and a new human being. It hurt a lot, physically and emotionally. Being pregnant was a beautiful process in my body, but the abortion was the most responsible decision for myself. I did it out of self-respect.

The decision was personal. I knew that I did not want to move forward with a pregnancy. There was no way I was going to put off my plans for the future. I got pregnant because of disastrous "professional" advice. My doctor had told me that I could continue using my IUD, that it was not expired, and he was wrong. I had the support of my partner for the decision, and a relative support of my parents.

I called several of my friends. One told me that she knew a private clinic that was not so expensive, and where the gynecologists were feminists. I called, and arrived there the next day. They explained the procedure and asked me if I was sure. Yes, I was sure. They charged me around a minimum wage. The next day I had a curettage before the clinic opened.

What was important to me at that time was my life. I did not have the means to have a child, neither financial nor emotional. And, I could not have a child with a man who was beating me.