Gülen's story is collected especially for the SHHH project. All informants and stories in this project have been anonymised. All names are changed.
I had two-and-a-half-year-old twin girls when I learned that I was pregnant again. I was not expecting to be pregnant because I used an IUD. I also bled a little. The embryo was already 8 weeks old when I learned the positive result. It took almost 10 days to figure out what to do. At that time I was not ready for a third kid, but most importantly I had doubts about its health because of the IUD and bleeding. I also had a job offer the same week that I found out I was pregnant. So, I decided to get rid of it.
I decided to have an abortion together with my husband. Our parents also supported us.
I did not know who to contact for help. We went to a public hospital with my husband where we learned that there are only two public hospitals providing abortions. So we got the address and went to the big public hospital in Beylikdüzü. It took nearly one week to figure out where to go.
I was a little hesitant at that moment, but the concerns about the health of the baby convinced me.
Me and my husband felt a little distracted because the doctor several times asked us whether we were certain about our decision.
The nurse in the hospital gave me an injection before the abortion and I miscarried while waiting for the operation in the hospital. It was my first miscarriage as well. I saw the placenta on the ground, it affected me a lot. I never want to experience the same process again.
I felt a little regretful because I was also laid off from work due to downsizing of the business. I always dreamed of having three kids. I like big families.